Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Game Point

Hi Sara,

Sorry for the delay in responding. You're right our schedules are just out of whack for meeting up right now. A lot of reflection, on top of life. I guess the conclusion is, if Lemon is unwilling to budge, it doesn't really make much sense for me to hold on. I feel that it compromises my teaching, thereby short-changing the students, or it compromises my life, thereby shortchanging myself and my family. Do let me know if anything changes (i.e. if Lemon would consider splitting [my courses] into two sections each, or hire me full-time with an office and benefits).

Shy of that, which I don't really expect, it makes most sense for me to pour my time and energy into building my research firm. I've got a couple programmers on board to get started coding the programs I need to develop my proofs-of-concept. If all goes well, I'll have some demos worked up by the new year, just before the baby is born. It's quite exciting really. I'm looking forward to the next phase in our lives, with two new babies (the one in Rocket's tummy, and the business I'm building).

My greatest fear in all this is that it will compromise our friendship, and your willingness to support my success. I may still apply for some more full-time tenure-track faculty posts, but I'm no longer holding my breath or vesting my hopes entirely in that prospect. Three years of seeking has beaten that out of me. Ideally, I'll be able to land a faculty post where I'll actually be supported both in my teaching and my research. If that's not possible, I think what I need to sacrifice, for my sake, and my family, is the teaching. I really hope I don't need to make that choice, since both are an important part of who I am.

I hope you will understand this decision (a difficult one, I confess). I can send a note to [coordinator for other course] & to [administrative staffer] if you think that would be appropriate. Also, is there some way I can ensure that I will get student evaluations for my teaching this term? I'd very much like to have them as part of my portfolio.

With warm regards,


1 comment:

Lilian said...

Catching up.
I particularly like the idea of two babies. :) I joke that I had three babies in the past five years, my boys and the dissertation, which is having an extra long "gestational period" ;).