... and today is one of them.
Nothing in particular... well, the computer acting up is one of them. I think I really need to "rebuild" my computer, but it's so much work to backup and migrate everything, and reinstall all the software. Yeah, I've got an IT assistant whom I pay to do that sort of thing. But my life is on that computer, at least big parts of it. I've got to be sure I have access to everything while the rebuild takes place.
Lots of little things accumulating and conspiring against my contentedness: One employee on medical leave; a second still learning; a contract lead who's less than clear on what he wants, and seems intent on asking us to work on areas of research far from our expertise and distant from what he originally asked for and what we proposed to accomplish; hardware that won't quite do what we expect it to; children who are a bit too hard to deal with at the moment.
Funny thing, all I really want is the freedom to pursue my research, to put my mind and talents to their best use. Damn the Academy for denying me those opportunities where I thought I should expect them; damn myself for the stubbornness to pursue them against the tide of circumstance.
Ha! I guess I make myself laugh too. My three boys at the moment and chasing each other in circles. Pitter patter pitter patter pitter patter. It's been rainy. They're happy at least, not fighting. Far worse things than that.
As life is. At the end of the week or early next week, I'll have in place a line of credit from my business bank. Good thing too. I haven't been able to pay myself since December. I've got about 7 or 8 checks piled up in a drawer awaiting my ability to cash them. The first two invoices (one on each contract) are awaiting payment, and a third should be submitted this week. It'll be a couple months until I catch up. But I will.
The tax accountant has been slow in finalizing our filings. I've had to draw from savings to cover the expected payments. Yes, far worse things than having to pay taxes, and having the savings to draw from.
Life's pretty good I know it. It's just been one of those days.