Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Things to remember
(or, what is identity anyway?)

Sometimes I want to cry, and curl up on someone's shoulder, evoke sympathy, receive comfort, be a child again.
  • But I am a man: 40 years old.
  • I am a father (of 3 boys now).
  • And I am a husband.
  • I have my health (for the most part).
  • I will not go hungry (nor will my family).
  • I can cook a marvelous feast from whatever is at hand.
  • I am capable.
  • I am committed.
  • I am industrious.
  • I am self-reliant.
  • I am not alone.
I need to remember that none of this, none of the important things in life, is about proving anything to anyone.
  • My PhD was not earned so I could be called "Doctor".
  • Indeed, it was not in particular to become a professor.
  • It was an exercise to pursue my own path, to ask the questions that kept me awake at nights.
  • It is not failure to walk away from the world of academia.
  • It is a choice, motivated by my reading of the world in which I live, and my desire to create a different one.
  • I need to remember that pursuing my current interests, attempting to build a research firm, seeking to file patents, are simply a path.
  • I control my work, and my efforts.
  • I have no control over how they are received.
  • I do these things not to prove myself worthy.
  • I am worthy.
  • There is nothing to fear in pursuit.
  • As my father taught me: We get to choose if we will be good; only history can choose if we will be great.
  • It is enough to be good.

1 comment:

BrightStar said...

You are a wonderful, loving, intelligent, thoughtful person --> THAT is your identity.

Congratulations again on becoming a father of such a lovely new little being.